Humorous Etiquette

Feet, amirite? Whether you see them as fetish-worthy or foul, in a public arena certain basic guidelines keep things upbeat instead of uncouth. A few quick pro-tips to help you toe (heh) the line: 

The Ceremony

Defining Socks

Defining Socks

As you remove your socks, you may be invited to address the crowd, which after several Dark and Stormys' should be no problem. This address should not include deeply personal revelations about yourself or others, your terrible poetry, a garbage rendition of Wonderwall, or any attempt to climb or be thrown into the fire. 

Defining Socks

Defining Socks

Defining Socks

The term can be confusing, so to clear things up: under no circumstances should you attempt to burn stockings, panties, boxers, briefs, spanx, crocs, bras, belts, garters, suspenders, or thermal underwear. Socks made of synthetic materials are frowned upon, so keep it to cotton or wool and refrain from fleece or other tech materials.

Prettying Up

Remaining barefoot

Remaining barefoot

Pedicures: They're not just for dames! Some sock-burning events are attended by local press, so pamper your ten little lords or ladies before those high-res photos come back to haunt you in the daily paper. 

Remaining barefoot

Remaining barefoot

Remaining barefoot

Once you've burned your socks it is frowned upon. Either sneak clean socks back on or put your shoes back on sock-less. Do not remove additional clothing!